hey, pistachio kernel.

i had a powerful realization about my purpose in the world yesterday*

when it came through to me, i at once felt both a deep lively resonance AND a wish to make it something different

because it involved TEACHING

and yeah, i get it if you’re a little confused

because teaching is a GOOD thing, right? hell, i WAS a (middle school french) teacher for 17 years!

not to mention that, as an intuition-driven decisionmaking coach i teach people every day how to trust themselves at least as much as everyone else + claim joy like it’s their job (because it is)

so what had me wanting to word my purpose some other way?

it’s got to do with an unpopular opinion of mine that, especially in personal + professional coaching spaces — when people talk about what they teach, it often drips with an unconscious implication of self-supremacy + perceived power imbalance

in other words, when someone claims the title of teacher, they often can’t help but place themselves on a pedestal before the students they will teach

while we can argue whether that has a place in any educative contexts, i’m specifically talking about its ramifications in adult coaching + learning experiences

although this tendency is often unconscious, it can be devastatingly insidious

it normalizes a hierarchy in which the teacher believes themself to be “better” than their students because they have this knowledge, strategy or mindset to teach — and the students believe it, too

it’s heavy with an air of saving, not serving

which leaves the ones learning or being taught as those in need of being saved, of being fundamentally less than

it cultivates a caste of students who idolize teachers + default to the belief that the teacher’s always right

it grows them into clients who idolize experts + default to trusting everyone else’s wisdom over their own

you’ll rarely find this spoken outright these days, but you might instead sense its residue in the way exchanges play out, feedback is given, inquiries are responded to

if you pay attention, you might notice that you question yourself more often, or that seeing them as the source of all right answers is reinforced rather than challenged

one of my fundamental beliefs is that we’re all doing the best we can —

and i think when coaches unwittingly fall into this trap it’s because their own self-esteem might need a boost, and the experts THEY’VE sought out have convinced them that positioning THEMSELVES as experts depends on this unspoken hierarchy

i can have compassion for it without willingly participating in this toxic status quo

so… on behalf of all teachers who seek to support students becoming their own best experts, i’ll embrace this newly-uncovered but ever-present purpose of mine

xxoo, cc

ps: wanna explore the possibilities of how we might be able to work together? set up a free call here

want a taste of co-created coaching guided by intuitive wisdom + oracle cards? book a session here

wanna know what my damn purpose is? hit reply + ask!

*it happened on day one of tiffany neuman’s workshop series i’ve been telling you about: make your message a movement without relying on social media + outdated (bro) marketing tactics that don’t work!

you can still get in on it here

(day 1 replay is up, day 2 is tomorrow at noon ET)

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