hey, pumpkin patch.

you know how, when you’re carrying something emotionally big or heavy — but you’ve got far too much life going on to really take the space to deal with it properly…

so you suck it up + steel yourself as much as you need to just keep going, to just get through…

and gotdammit you’re DOING it!

even though you can’t quite believe it or understand how, you’re getting all the necessaries taken care of well enough

you are MANAGING

you are HANGING IN

you are HOLDING IT TOGETHER

but then…

someone drops a simple kindness on you that fucks your shit RIGHT up

an unexpected hug, a really nice thing to say that someone said

a heartfelt “how ARE you?” in a sea of surface, single-sided salutations

honestly? any other day you might not have even noticed it

but today, it sets off unstoppable waterworks

i mean… that’s a thing, right?

crying seemingly out of the blue, for “no good reason?”

idk, might just be me, but let me tell you —

nothing will get me crying quicker than a well-placed kindness when i’m trying to be strong

and yes, OF COURSE i agree that processing emotions is healthier than squashing them down…

but sometimes we do what we gotta do til we can get to a space that’s safe enough to do what we actually need

we don’t toxic positivity our way out of things here. nor do we shame others for the ways they keep themselves from breaking

in times like the ones i described above, i will literally ask the bestower of kindness to stop being so kind, before i cry (or cry more)

not because i’m ashamed of my tears OR my emotions

but because if i start, i might not stop for a while… and in those moments i happen to have other shit to do

sometimes, i just can’t handle MORE (even when it’s kindness)

sometimes though, MORE is exactly what i need

sunday i had the most lovely fix of autumnal healing, bright + crisp

sun was shining, but a cozy wool sweater felt great as that crisp breeze came through, carrying the bright scent of mums + the less bright one of fallen autumn leaves (damn, if decay doesn’t hit just right when it’s foliage)

i was outside for hours at the westville arts market, and you might think that a full day dose of fall would have been ENOUGH

but i woke up yesterday knowing i needed MORE

my body was literally aching for it

so i went after it

i drove to rhode island to find some thomas dambo trolls (iykyk)

and listen… it would have been A LOT WISER to wait

next week would have been MUCH better timing, according to my calendar

(isn’t it always?)

but the bod needed it now —

i’d already put it off for a couple months

the trees are still holding some foliage, but won’t be for much longer

clocks get set back this weekend — so it’ll be darker even earlier then

yesterday was the forecasted sunniest day of the week, and the one with the most flexibility in my schedule

so, i went for it

sometimes we have to move beyond the logic in our schedules to embrace the wisdom of the season

the wisdom in our senses, the wisdom speaking from our soul

and yeah, i’ll be “paying” for it all week

spaciousness yesterday will cost me spaciousness the rest of the week

AND THAT’S FINE

because WOW was it absolutely what i needed

not everyone understands the value of an intuition-driven way of life, because it can be hard to quantify THIS

i’m so freaking grateful that i listened to my body + the voice within that helped me know, that guided me through decisionmaking around which needs mattered most + how best to meet them

this isn’t a one-and-done proposition, it’s a lifestyle woven together by each of the moments you choose to honor your own wellness, wholeness + joy over what everyone else says should matter most

by each moment you choose to LISTEN to the voice you’ve been conditioned to shush + shove aside

it requires a commitment to being present to what is rather than riding on what’s always been

and it insists that you STOP looking for easy answers somewhere else — so that you may find them within yourself

when i decided i’d go, i first thought i’d visit three trolls that were all within about a half hour of each other —

i mean, if i was gonna do it, i was gonna DO it lol (hello MORE!)

but as i sat with that, MORE soon turned to TOO MUCH. i didn’t want to rush any of the visits, and i didn’t want to add the extra time to the trip

where it stopped feeling DELIGHTFUL + started feeling STRESSFUL + TIRING… that’s where i knew to pull back

i decided to start with one + possibly add a second one in (which i did), but i left the furthest one for another day

and it was SO perfect!

i had plenty of time to NOT find the trolls before actually finding them (and to enjoy the journey to get there)

the sunshine was dappling like it was its JOB (which, i mean, i suppose it is. but that’s beside the point)

i had some great stranger chats — including one with my doppeloppoganger (a word i just made up to describe how she grew up around new haven + is now living in mass, and i grew up in mass + am now obvi living in new haven)

plus several about the rhode island trolls + which is our fave + how, for such a small state, RI has a LOT of trolls, like i would love for someone to run numbers on state per capita troll rates because i bet RI’s is OFF THE CHARTS lol

i had chats AT the troll sites, LOOKING for the troll sites, and at the gas station on the way HOME from troll sites

so many passion-powered magicmakers are craving connection more than ever right now —

and when you connect to yourself + whatever spirit source resonates for you like this, you can’t help but find connection all around you

it’s an infinite practice that feeds + fuels itself

it is ease electrified

every choice you’ve made for your life carries its own set of freedoms + constraints —

when i chose to go into business for myself, one of the reasons the uncertainty was bearable was because of the freedoms that came with it

if i had chosen to stay in education, it would have been because the stability provided a financial freedom that was worth whatever i wasn’t getting from it

whether you’re satisfied where you’re at or you’re looking for a change, i invite you to take a moment + inventory the freedoms + constraints inherent in your current situation

and to start actually ENJOYING the freedoms you’ve got, regardless of the constraints

or hell, do it BECAUSE of the constraints

if you’re paying the toll anyway, don’t you want to at least enjoy the drive?

if that sounds amazing, but you’re just not sure how to get started —

bring it to a card coaching session!

book yours here

and tell me… what are you ready to let yourself do MORE of right now?

xxoo, cc

ps: sometimes the best strategy is to let go of the need for results

while i was out on this little adventure yesterday, a notification came through about a totally out of the blue biz booking!

call it coincidence if you like, but why would you settle for that when there’s potential for it to be MORE?

pps: wanna peep more visuals (and some audio) from the trip? i’ll be sharing them over on IG over the next few days!

ready to start allowing yourself to do MORE of what lights you up?

book a single card coaching session + we can focus on exactly that!

thriveandbloomsignature card coaching session

yes. more of that please

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