hey, lemon cake.

i was just talking with a friend about things we want but are only getting glimmers, at best of, right now

and how to acknowledge that reality without getting subsumed by it

it got me thinking about those moments when sunshine glimmers in pics as you’re snapping them

or rather, when it glimmers through the lens but not in the pic that’s actually taken

so, you set out to capture the glimmer better

you shift your phone this way + that til the sunlight shines most bright in the frame

you try to keep your hand still at that angle as you move to press the button to take the shot

every failed attempt is quickly replaced with a fresh new try

*here's a recent moment where the glimmer got got ;)*

at first, it’s fun. it even feels like a game —

the magic of the moment is enhanced by the act of seeking MORE

until, suddenly… it’s not

until seeking more leaves you wracked by feelings of LESS

you get frustrated with what you’re not able to achieve

your marvel + delight become disappointment + resentment

anger, even — at never getting what you want

never catching a break

never getting it right

mere moments ago you were enamoured with the poetry of light in lines of sight — now all you can see is that whatever it was you wanted, you can’t ever seem to have it

because there comes a time, even in the pursuit of something beautiful, when it’s better to let it alone lest the effort at capturing it eclipse the beauty of experiencing it

whatever it is you seek, may you not let the effort at capturing it eclipse the beauty of experiencing it

xxoo, cc

snapping pics is one of my most favorite presence practices + ways to engage with the beauty in the world around me

it's not about getting that technically perfect shot, and i resist guidance from others that goes for that

you get to do what you do, the way you want to do it

and it gets to mean what it means, to YOU

this is one of the ways intuition-driven living supports intuition-driven decisionmaking (and vice versa)

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