hey, radish root.

no, i haven’t become a raging asshole overnight — no matter what that one guy from the dating apps may think to the contrary lol

it’s not that i don’t want you feeling things for people going through the shit

it’s that i’d rather you not stay in sympathy for them

because sympathy has distance baked into it, and separation isn’t what tough times call for

when you say “i feel so bad for you” because of some hardship or hurt, or even “my heart breaks for what’s happening” — EVEN when what’s happening IS absolutely heartbreaking…

whatever care + compassion you intend to convey can get lost in the distance your words create, positioning you far from the people in question, and at least a little bit above them

it can trick you into thinking this isn’t your problem + that it really never could be

that you are lucky + they are not, and that’s just how it goes

and listen… it’s natural to feel bad for folks who are suffering, and an important part of humaning

but if you stop there, you risk believing that sympathy is enough

that it’s all you can actually do

but when you take the time + care to expand from sympathy into empathy + really put yourself in those times-toughened shoes, you start to close the gap

and when you close the gap, you can’t go back. you can’t keep deciding to look away

there’s a big difference between protecting your heart + mental health and totally checking out from the problems we face

it’s not a straight or clear path, but when you choose to make it a practice to be present to what’s tough —

whether it’s your neighbor’s burgeoning health woes, your bestie’s messy divorce, or multiple genocides happening around the world + basic rights being written out of law closer to geographic home…

this is an integral step to make change

now we don’t need to lose the point by bickering over semantics, so feel free to ditch the words + focus on the feelings

next time you find yourself feeling bad for someone, let that be your invitation to linger in what they’re going through a bit

even if the words you say next are the same, the more intentional meaning behind them will make all the difference

let me know what you think

xxoo, cc

ps: yesterday in the states there was a shooting at a rally for former president trump, and it’s being investigated as an assassination attempt

i haven’t said much about how the political climate here + continued genocides in gaza + elsewhere may be negatively impacting your mental health, and how you could a bajillion percent benefit from some intentional self-care attention on that front —

but i do want to encourage you to consider whether your summertime self-care plan might specifically be crafted to heal yourself from the weight of the literal world on your proverbial shoulders

our daytime session is happening this wednesday + you can get your ticket here

lots of love, turtledove 😘

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