hey, lemon linguine.

i LOVE to grab a cute beer, by myself, and enjoy some great live music

the “by myself” part started because i live with mild social anxiety, and sometimes making plans puts on pressure that stresses me out

i can get in my head about things + start to dread going — which only gets stronger when i start thinking about the people i’ll let down by changing my mind

this doesn’t happen every time, and it’s not always very strong

but since i never know when it might, i’m very intentional about the plans i do make so that i know i can likely follow through with them

and since seeing live music is important to me, i learned how to make it less stressful by sometimes limiting the amount of people involved in making it happen to just me

because life can be a complex mother trucker, of course THEN i needed to figure out how to quell the anxiety of going alone lol

friday marked 27 years that i quit smoking — something i did in part for similar purposes for years, without understanding that i was

nowadays, i turn to my presence practices (snapping pics of pretty things brings me out of my head like nothing else can)

and my biz date practice kind of functions the same way

i’m not saying that EVERY time you see me writing in a cute notebook when i’m out, it’s because i’m a little bit anxious or self-conscious —

but sometimes it is

and the regularity of the practice helps ease the anxiety even more, precisely because it’s not a sign that i’m currently in the grips of it

(if i only did it when i was anxious, i’d get anxious doing it, thinking about how you’d know i was anxious!!)

so anyway… i’ve got this super powerful + fruitful practice of going out, grabbing a fun, delicious bev, taking in great music, and brainstorming ideas for my biz

and it started in part as a way to cope with anxiety

the other day though, i realized something else about it. another way it’s vital to my experience

being connected to creative energy — that of the musicians, the folks running the breweries + pubs, the ones who created the brilliant beers + bevs, and all those enjoying every bit

even the way the music resonates in my body + i literally ingest what can be tasted —

it all inspires me creatively. and THAT inspires me even more profoundly

to break rules, to dare to do things differently, and to trust my damn self, over + over again

it feeds every part of me + nourishes everything that helps me build + grow a business based on what lights me up + lets me be gloriously, deliciously my whole, unboxable self —

in spite of what might not align with conventional wisdom

what about you, sweet bloom? what’s YOUR secret to staying grounded in self-trust, fueled for your unique brand of magic, and in creative/creator flow?

xxoo, cc

this was last week at badsons, watching the hooch

hey, bloom.

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