fuck snowstorms, bloom.

when you’re already hanging on by some kinda thread, there’s nothing like a continuous 24-hour heavy snowfall with accumulations of 18+ inches to make you fall to your proverbial knees (or scream obscenities through tears on the way to fill up your gas tank)

when your finances for the rest of the month are planned + plotted to the penny, canceled work gigs HURT

or maybe your heart is too too tender lately, and being snowed in echoes the absence of someone you miss

or maybe you’re just freaking TIRED, and so very ready for a break that doesn’t feel as if it will ever come

so yeah… i didn’t want the big snowstorm we got yesterday

it was highly inconvenient + messed with my program in plenty a ways

maybe it wasn’t a snowstorm for you, but think of the last time shit went sideways beyond your control when you were already feeling pretty beat

you could’ve railed against the thing, but that wouldn’t have changed it

no matter how pissed i mighta been at the forecast, the snow was still going to come

so you learn to fight where you can instead of fighting what you can’t

i made a new plan + executed the stuffing out of it. and when that snow started to fall, i sat back + watched it fall

i’d pick up the post-snow plan when it was over, and i knew that i would

that knowing is the often-missing ingredient to going with flows we’d rather balloon-animal tie into something more personally pleasing

when you trust yourself to handle curveballs, they lose their heat

when you trust yourself to pick your work up after a pause, it’s less problematic to pivot

and when you trust yourself to know what you need best, it’s so much easier to be whole + stay well, even when the world is on fire

one of the places people stumble with self-trust is underestimating all the areas in which it’s needed

they think because they’re generally confident, intelligent + strong, they couldn’t possibly have room to grow in the self-trust department —

or that it could be severely hampering their experience of deep success + satisfaction

in any mid-to-high-stakes decision, there are multiple ways in which you need to trust yourself, and if you’re relatively weak in any one of them, you’ll run into stickiness — especially if you don’t realize that’s what’s happening

for example, no matter what kind of decision you’re making, here are just a few things you’ll need to trust yourself to do:

make the right choice
act on that choice
implement it skillfully
handle all the unexpected nuances that arise
stick with it
discern when it might be time to pivot

so if you’re confident in your decisionmaking but have old stories about giving up too soon or not seeing things through, you might end up doubting your decision when you start to waver in sticking with it

in essence, your lack of trust in your follow through will trick you into thinking you shouldn’t have trusted your decisionmaking, either

i firmly believe that most of the problems you THINK you have can be MAJORLY improved, if not entirely solved, by strengthening your self-trust

so back to snowstorms + surrenderrest…

once the snow came, i went all-in on being snowed in

and yeah… i could’ve decided to use the time inside to get ahead on so many things i’d fallen behind on lately —

biz plans, sorting bills, writing content, chasing inbox something less than 10,000

i could have commenced operation “shout it out” on all the stubbornly stained clothes i’ve been tossing in a pile in my pantry for the past couplefew years, just waiting for a day like today

so many practical, productive things i could have done

but with as tenderhearted as i’ve been lately, and as tuckered the eff out, i knew those weren’t the things that would really serve me best

the snow may have kept me homebound, but it was up to me to keep it healing

we often talk of surrender like it’s this simple definable action, something we just decide to do + then do

but sometimes the decision needs a little help, and the doing happens in small steps

sometimes we need to make space for surrender, and then to gently pave its way

we can’t always know what it will look like until we clear out everything that impedes it

this is another place that self-trust becomes indispensable, and its lack becomes debilitating

when you have that intuitive knowing that says you need rest, and you dare to be so bold as to listen to + honor it — that’s one kind of self-trust

but it’s only the start

once you hone + honor your OWN voice, you’ve got to make sure you can filter + discern everyone ELSE’S voice appropriately

otherwise, as soon as someone questions your decision or old stories start playing in your head —

that’s when you’ll start to doubt your decision + rationalize selling it short

you’ll go back to believing the norms that say not to + the voices of every critic or well-meaning other who tell you to stop doing whatever IT is wrong

and when you decide to let your snowday be a real snowday that revitalizes + replenishes, at some point you’ll hear that old familiar chastisement to do more, to not waste your time, to quit being lazy, etc

if you don’t lock into the power of your self-trust, you’ll crumble in the wake of decades + multitudes of criticisms and beliefs in support of status quos that were never meant to allow you to shine

if you’re going to claim space for real deep rest + healing, you need to commit to it. you need to dispatch with the guilt, sideline the shoulds, and utterly surrender to the experience

thus… surrenderrest

without committed surrender, you end up not only feeling bad about all you coulda woulda shoulda been doing, but you ALSO lose the deep benefit of the rest you’ve decided to take

and if you’re gonna do it, you better DO IT, BLOOM

don’t you dare let ANYONE’S guilt rob you of the replenishment to be found in rest, or joy, or any other lifebringing thing

and the number one most powerful + effective tool for ensuring that doesn’t happen, is intentionally strengthened self-trust

xxoo, cc

💡 one a my fave things about my UPRISING inner sanctum membership is the space it creates for building a super strong + discerning self-trust with others doing the same. check it out to see if it’s for you!

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