hey, honey nugget.

thought you might like to see what billie smith had to say about this evening’s “say NO without spiraling” workshop event we’re offering together later today…

as a reminder, after my workshop piece, billie will be leading a gentle movement practice to help us ground, explore our physical experience with the process i’ll have presented on, and chill out a bit

here’s some background they shared with their community, that i’ve gotten permission to share with you!

Although I am not the one guiding the part of the workshop where we support our 'no', it is a topic that feels really important to me. This gets into some emotional stuff, so don't say I didn't warn ya. 😉

I grew up in an unhappy home, we'll say. There were all kinds of abuse going on, and I learned pretty early on to put my own needs, wants and wishes aside in order to try to keep the peace. It wasn't really even until I was in my twenties that it dawned on me that I had no idea what I wanted, what I liked, or even my favourite foods. And it took me another 10-15 years to find the answer to those things, and learn why I had that experience in the first place.

The idea of me being myself in front of anyone, let alone saying 'no', was preposterous. It felt unsafe, so when I first started learning to say no, I was terrified. Even saying no when calling in sick to work, 'no, I won't be there, even though you're short-staffed', felt like a challenge. Thankfully, it all got easier as time went on, but then I had to deal with the feelings of guilt that spiraled me into a hard feeling spot after.

I'm really grateful to be in a place now where I'm much more comfortable in my own skin, and much more able to hold onto my sense of value even after saying no. I got to this point because I had some pretty amazing support in my therapist, a few friends, and just honestly through practicing.

I have taken a little peek at the workshop, and without giving away any spoilers it is something that I think can be really helpful to anyone who relates to the story above.