hey, gingerbread toast.

so, over the weekend i developed bell’s palsy

if you’re not familiar, it’s a temporary paralysis of the facial nerve affecting one side of the face

it presents like it might be a stroke + is diagnosed after ruling one out

it’s fairly mysterious, often brought on by stress, and generally goes away on its own anywhere between 2 weeks + 6 months

in the meantime, every time i SMILE i look like the cover image for the horror movie of the same name

though i’m not incredibly vain, it’s wreaking mild havoc on my self confidence + image. and who knew how tiring it could be trying to move a frozen face that’s naturally as expressive as mine?

my smile is one of the things i’m most known for, and one of the physical things about me people love most (me too)

it’s also one of the most fundamental ways i connect with people + feel most myself

to have all that taken from me, if but only for a few days, weeks or months?

it blows

sure, i’m also very freaking lucky, and so very grateful

but yeah… times have been tough enough lately. not loving this added to the mix rn lol

at the same time though, i’m already reaping gifts

not forcing them… receiving them

this isn’t about toxic positivitying through a shitshow. it’s a willingness to be present with wonder at the wisdom within

it’s another aspect of intuition-driven living + the ways the body speaks how it can when we won’t listen to word whispers or wisdom nudges

you know i’ve got all sorts of insights + realizations a-brewing around this

i’m sure i’ll share plenty of them in good time

for now, i’m reminding myself of something i read online, that if you have what i’ve been lovingly referring to as “bells” or “the palsy” —

you are unwell

which means i need to rest, nourish + nurture myself

and let others help, too (and oh, how they are!)

so that’s what i’ll be doing over here in as many ways as i can

in a wiseass stroke of divine timing, tis the season for me to share my fave holiday greeting graphic with you on slide 2: fa la la la love your face

i’ll be over here tryna love my own freakshow face as it is right now, and will do so out loud in case it helps you to love a little more of whatever you feel called to hide about your own sweet self today

sending lots of holiday season love, peace + grace

xxoo, cc

ps: got tips? i've been loving hearing insights + recs from so many friends who have friends who've been through this, so feel free to send along whatever you've got!

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