hey, rum punch.

i never know if i’m going to send out an email today until the day comes + i don’t or i do

driven on one side by love for a day to honor loved ones + all things for which i’m grateful, shriveled on the other by the lies, theft, and pillaging that the day was founded + perpetuated on

torn between how i’ve been conditioned + what i now know to be true

between doing what feels good + what feels right, honoring my own experience + honoring that of so many others

sometimes i wonder what it might be like to stick head in sand + keep it there —

to be unfettered by the weight of all that’s wrong with what we’ve been taught to see as right

when the topic turns to political correctness + language, there’s always a group that wonders why x or y group of people need to be so sensitive, why they can’t just take a joke or not take it personally or whatever

i like to shift the focus + say listen, if saying or not saying this one thing will make someone feel better, more whole, less aggressed…

why not just do it (or don’t do it, as the case may be)

why not just err on the side of NOT being the reason someone feels shitty today?

*downtown new haven, night before thanksgiving 2025*

and for a while i would celebrate the elements of this day that felt good to me, while also honoring the truth of what blows about it

and that felt like balance, like a healthy practice of both/and

it’s starting to feel like something else though

as i think more + more about what it must feel like to be a person indigenous to this land + be bombarded with messaging around the false narrative of the day, i can’t help but ask myself —

why not just NOT participate?

why not just NOT be one more voice squawking love + gratitude over stuffing-scented ashes of land theft + genocide lauded as a pioneering spirit?

and then pavlov rings his bell + like a dog i see turkeys made from outlines of hands + tins of cranberry jelly jiggled out onto shallow dishes and i can’t resist the urge to give thanks

and the emails roll in bearing gratitude in one hand + a new chance to lay down dollars in the other (and i wonder if or when i’ll write mine)

and it’s so very interesting, because the gratitude in these biz-sent emails is real…

so is the great deal for you

and…

so is the push-pull of capitalism

so is the very real small biz need to make sales to survive

you are both cherished community member + potential source of income

and i am both genuinely grateful human + struggling small business owner

and it is MESSY, isn’t it?

and maybe that’s the point

maybe we can just be in the discomfort together, allowing for multiple truths to coexist — up to the point where it negates someone else’s lived reality + humanity

maybe we can do more things just for the sake of not being the reason someone feels shitty today

or hell, maybe we can go so far as to do more things to be the reason someone feels cherished, seen + special today

what if we made today something of a sacred check-in with spirit + self?

a holy tire alignment for the values that drive us + the practices that carry us

here are a few Qs that can help you do just that:

what am i doing by habit that no longer aligns with my values or goals (if it ever did?)
where do i feel most aligned + alive (and how can i weave more of that into my days?)
which relationships, partnerships, experiences make me feel seen + special (and which ones drain, demean or dull me + my shine?)
how can i best support myself with structure that can create space for a deeper relationship with myself + the divine?
what do i want to start, stop or keep doing — just because, without need to justify or explain, just because it feels right for me?
is there something i can do to stand for my values that i’ve been avoiding (and if so, am i resourced appropriately to undertake it now?)

would love to hear your answers or the questions you ask yourself instead!

and yes, i am so very grateful for you

and yes, i’ll probably have a sale for you soon (though it may or may not align with when everyone else is sending you theirs! if you’ve been thinking of joining me in any work, hit reply + i can tell you if a special pricing option is on the way for it!)

ima go make my mashed sweet potatoes now, because i AM spending the afternoon with loved ones

if you have any favorite resources for deepening knowledge of what actually happened here during colonization, please send them along

sending you love + gratitude from native wappinger + paugussett land

xxoo, cc

BEHIND THE ENDEARMENT:

sometimes the endearments just pop into my head, and that's what happened with this one

i love the staccato sound of two single-syllables words, both with an UH sound that, together with the M in RUM soften it juuust enough

plus, i went out with a friend to anchor spa on college street last night + had a beautiful drink that, though not a punch, sure did have rum in it 🍹

so many community members have mentioned that they enjoy finding out what i’m going to call you at the top of each email, so i thought i’d experiment with dropping some context at the end.

are you into hearing context around the names i call you at the top of emails, or nah?

hell yeah i am... I WANNA HEAR IT ALL!

i mean sure... why not lol?

love ya, but will honestly prolly never read them

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