hey, curly parsley.
so, I went to the beach monday afternoon, because damn did i need it
i’d put it off a few times already in order to do the “responsible” thing, and had figured out a plan that, in theory, would have allowed me to meet responsible needs while also tending to what would heal + soothe my soul
because that’s the trick in this life, isn’t it?
to find + ride that sweet spot between taking care a biz + doing what you love
to not overly favor one at the expense of the other
and to determine what that looks like for you
oh, what a glorious afternoon it was!
oh how it did me well
and then, on the way home, my car broke down
actually, it was my mom’s car, but that’s a whole other story for a whole other day, maybe lol
two hours later — i manage to get a pricy, evening-rate, multi-mile tow
looking for the dropbox at the mechanic — my favorite flip flop breaks
somewhere in the madness — i lose the key to MY car
a bite i got at the beach — turns out to be one a those crazy infected horsefly bites that wrecked me last summer
as i limped down my street, having been pity dropped at the top by bruce the kindhearted tow truck guy who detests speed bumps + indecisive drivers…
busted flop in hand, gingerly stepping to dodge shattered glass + the spectre of potential skunks lurking in the evening dark…
heartheavy with the weight of wondering what the problem might be and, more pointedly, how much it was going to cost…
it was giving that scene in the hangover where the wolfpack are walking down a dusty road in various states of beaten + battered disarray
except i was sans pack at the mo. and apparently that scene never actually happened in the movie (which is wild bc i see it so very clearly in my head)
but anyway…
some folks turn shitty events that happen after you make a counterculture decision into “proof” that the decision was wrong
whether it’s deciding to prioritize self-care rather than burn yourself all the way out, or choosing to forego that foolproof strategy you can’t stand in favor of one that you actually LIKE to do, or finally ending a partnership that drained you, even though the uncertainty of what will happen next is scary…
trusting yourself at least as much as everyone else is bold work, bloom
and when you tune out all the noise of what everyone else wants, needs or says you must do, you start to hear the very real wisdom within you
once you start to make those intuition-driven decisions that you KNOW, soul-deep, are best for you in any given moment —
that’s just the beginning
intuition-driven decisionmaking is not a one-and-done affair. it’s a lifestyle, a way of being, believing, and moving in the world
trusting yourself to make any initial decision is only the first hurdle
the deeper work comes in maintaining that trust in the face of naysayers + the way they cite unrelated events as proof
(and yes, sometimes the naysayer is you)
the way they may masquerade circumstance as result
the deeply ingrained way we all will make false equivalencies that only serve to keep us believing it’s foolish, irresponsible, selfish or just plain wrong to do whatever conventional “wisdom” tells us not to
my car didn’t break down BECAUSE i went to the beach
i went to the beach. my car broke down. two separate, independent events
i didn’t ask for trouble by choosing play over work
the trouble that came didn’t materialize to make me see the error of my ways, or to spiritually scold me
it can get tricky to navigate this terrain though, because just like in the movies — the call often comes from inside the proverbial house
it’s not just the stuffy old patriarchal oppressors out there who use cause-and-effect mindset to keep you in “your place”
to shame you for daring to claim joy + blame you for daring to tend to needs beyond survival + financial gain
it’s the woo, too
hell, it might even be you
as an intuitive mentor + coach, you know i absolutely play in the world of noticing + trusting signs from the universe. they’re truly one of the greatest ways our intuition speaks to us
but…
nothing is universal
everything requires discernment
because it can be a very fine line between reading signs + finding reason to discredit or blame
intuition-driven living + decisionmaking doesn't default to say that what happened are signs i shouldn't have gone
but if you’re turning to intuition as just another expert to follow, you might get it twisted
if you’re just swapping spirit for some other instruction-giver or guide, you’ll stay stuck in a state of seeking wisdom, permission + validation outside of yourself
never really feeling the sublime peace + power that comes with trusting YOURSELF to discern the difference, in real time, in life
intuition-driven living + decisionmaking doesn't punish you for tough stuff that happens after you decide to honor what your soul knows you need, or what works best for you
while cause and effect is real, it’s also often erroneously weaponized against anyone daring to do things differently
and believing in spiritual signs indiscriminately sets you up to fall for it
outsourcing your power — even to spirit, source, or whatever god you treasure — is small work that reinforces the belief that the wisdom isn’t, in fact, already within you
that you can’t trust in your own quiet knowing
that your magic isn’t equal at least to the magic of the world around you
rather than a rigid cause-and-effect series of events, life becomes more a curious unfolding, a buoyant flow
not the stone smoothly skipped across the water’s surface, you, sweet bloom, are the vastness of the water itself
and it’s time you started acting like it
if you’re ready to explore what that might look like, why not book an intro session to find out?
xxoo, cc
đź‘€ peep some pics from the day here + here, plus enjoy this sad BTS shot of my cute little broken flip flop, may she rest in peace
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