hey, sugarshaker.

when you don’t really want to do a thing, you’ll crumble at the first obstacle to doing it that comes

sure… you’ll feel shitty about bailing, but only just a little bit less than you feel relief at no longer being bound to do it

in your belly or wherever you feel your emotions in your body, you may know the raucous duel between the sweet release of relief + the tight tension of guilt, shame + self-judgment

and maybe you’ve forgotten that that’s not as good as it gets…

that your choices aren’t to either do the thing miserably or say no + self-flagellate

that you can shift thing at the root, at the moment of the ask

that you can dare to say NO or I’M NOT SURE or LET ME THINK ABOUT IT

that you rarely owe anyone an immediate answer, and if you do, it doesn’t have to be YES

and when you start to say NO to the things you’ve been doing out of obligation, not only will you have given yourself more space for what you love in those specific moments —

but you’ll be improving the quality of your experience long after, by removing all the crumbling + pulling out of projects anyway

by saying NO first to what you really don’t want to do, you’ll stop that devastating cycle of internal combat that happens when you’ve said a YES that turned into a NO anyway

you’ll doubt yourself less

you’ll feel better about your YESes as well as your NOs

and the people that matter in your life will, too

so instead of setting yourself up to take the first opportunity to fail, why not try supporting yourself in a more multidimensional success?

stop saying YES when it’s really a NO

dare to include more YES, IFs that allow you to do the thing in a way that doesn’t sacrifice your wellbeing

experiment with CHECK BACK LATER — if + only if that would really feel good

buy yourself time to consider

and don’t you dare beat yourself up for being human, with limited time, energy + piece of you to go around

and don’t you dare swim in guilt around not laying yourself down across the fire so that others may get safely to the other side

i’m always down to support you in this, in a single sesh or a more sustained way (see how here)

because life doesn’t have to be a series of feeling shitty because you said YES + shitty because you said NO

xxoo, cc

know someone who would dig this email?

forward it to a friend so they can sign up below and get blooming, too!

$5.00 tips for lattes + other joy-bringing treats listen, if your personal path to claiming joy happens to be paved with treating a gal like me to a latte or some sushi... Read more tip a gal :)

​

curious about working together?

sign up for a FREE possibilities call + we can explore what's available

ready to claim joy like it's your job, trust yourself at LEAST as much as everyone else, and put yourself on your own damn list?

come work with me! explore your options here.​

​​

copyright © 2016-2026 thriveandbloom, all rights reserved