hey, honey lemon.

as a recovering reflexive apologizer (yeah, i used to be one a those girls who would apologize when people bumped into HER on the street) — i’ve had to work hard to rewire my normal AWAY from apologizing as a default

and let me tell you… once you get intentional about your apologies, you’ll likely be amazed by just how often people expect them + assume them

don’t believe me? try paying attention to how often people say “no worries” when you decline something WITHOUT apologizing for it

proclaiming “no worries” here presumes there COULD in fact be some worries — but there aren’t any because this person is super chill + understanding, so whatever IT is, it’s okay

it implies forgiveness, or a perceived need for forgiveness, that feeds into + exacerbates guilt where we don’t need it + perpetuates power imbalances in places we may not even be aware of

people talk about presence, mindfulness + grounding in like they're these lofty, mystical, unquantifiable things — and if that lands, then cool, carry on

but if not, consider this approach — at root, it’s all about paying attention, which allows you to know how you actually feel, so that you may actively dismantle default responses in favor of what’s real

which can affect everything from how you feel in your own skin to how you engage with the world around you

when you stop apologizing out of habit, the apologies you DO make mean more. and when you choose to no longer allow others to assume your apology, you start to change the narrative around what’s expected on both a micro + macro level

apology is generally seen as virtuous, mature + selfless —with rarely a caveat around whether it’s warranted, or concern for how you might be subtly selling yourself out with it

something we’re routinely expected to apologize for is our pleasure, our joy, our wild wander + wonder — and specifically, pursuing them with abandon

a peek into a collection of dictionary definitions + synonyms of the word abandon reveals a muddy yet telling picture…

first, in this definition: “careless disregard for consequences,” each word is laden with judgment that has nothing to do with my understanding of abandon as a noun

then, in one source’s set of synonyms (thesaurus.com), you’ll find: disregard, impulse, licentiousness, recklessness, thoughtlessness, unrestraint, wantonness

nothing muddy here — none of this is something to aspire to

but then “spontaneity,” which i dig, is listed as abandon’s closest match

further mixing the message is the listed synonym “freedom”

and then there’s “wildness” — though positive to me, many would call it negative

the mixing of good + bad in the portrait of the word reflect a paradoxicality that’s part of the problem, pointing to a systemic undercurrent indoctrinating us with the idea that wildness is bad, that spontaneity is bad, that FREEDOM (for some) is fucking bad

and if YOU want that, you sure as shit better apologize for it

so when i speak of unapologetic abandon, it’s about knowing what feeds your fullest joyful whole soul freedom + going hard for it, for yourself, for the greater good of shifting shitty narratives that hold us back + down

it’s not always easy to own your desires with unapologetic abandon in your life or biz. if you’re looking for continued space in which to navigate what it takes in a way that grows your personal power, ask me about FORTIFY — an extended coaching community experience i’ll be sharing soon

xxoo, cc

ps: now tell me — what are you ready to STOP apologizing for + pursue with utter abandon?

you are receiving this email because you opted in through social media, directly at thriveandbloom.com, or you attended an event or purchased a product or service from crecia cipriano - thriveandbloom. thank you so much for allowing me into your inbox + life!