hey, lime slice.

the other day i wrote the following sentence:

in small pockets of time i can get creatively constricted, painfully aware of the quickly approaching start time of what’s next

a part of me REALLY wanted the alliteration + drama that would’ve come with substituting the word “cripplingly” for “painfully” —

creatively constricted, cripplingly aware

not gonna lie… i really love how that flows

but you know what?

a much BIGGER part of me cares that using a derivative of the word “crippling” to describe something not very serious can feel like an affront —

to those with disabilities that have much more far-reaching + serious implications than my awareness of a looming deadline does, and to those who care about them

plus, the noun is outdated + offensive, and even though the verb may not be, all forms carry a cut to them that i’m not interested in inflicting with my words

and certainly not just for the sound of it

i sometimes hesitate to share behind-the-scenes thoughts around intentional language choices, because once you start talking about potentially offensive language, it can quickly turn into a rabbit hole of etymological exploration that can not only eat up time, but also shake your confidence

like… is it “ok” to say “disabled?”

(yes — it’s considered neutral, accurate, and preferred by the national education association, or NEA)

what about “rabbit hole” — is there anything offensive about THAT?

(no, it really is just an alice in wonderland reference!)

have i screwed this up before?

(probably. next question?)

it’s easy to get in your head about the language you use, and hard to know what’s okay to say

that overwhelm?

i mean, you *could* call it crippling…

but just because you could, doesn’t mean you should — right?

i know it’s not easy to take the time to be vigilant, or to bid farewell to turns of phrase you find poetic or powerful

but if that’s the toughest part of your day or mine, i’d say it’s a challenge we are well equipped to navigate

and whether or not you believe there could or should be anything offensive about a particular word, i lovingly invite you to take this moment to consider the following in every next of those moments:

it’s not about you

it’s about the person who lives in skin that isn’t yours + navigates experiences you can never fully understand

and isn’t it worth it to spare a stranger or someone you know the chance of being hurt by something you so casually wish to say for style?

that’s the question i come back to every time

i’m not implying that this choice is always going to be easy to make

i’m just asking that you approach it as a decision WORTH making

xxoo, cc

ps: got any words or phrases that you wish people would stop saying? tell me about em so i can know + do better (à la maya angelou.) and i can share them here, too!