hey, orange pepper. (you are my fave)

so, i don’t often go into details around my dating life here, but the other day i started talking to someone new

i don’t swipe yes on many people — DM me + i’ll tell you why i did on this guy

that reason was why, even though there’d been a few yellow flags over the past few days, i didn’t bounce

i think he may have been feeling similarly

to be clear — these yellow flags were indications that we weren’t a good match, not that there was anything “wrong” with him

so anyway, he ended up inviting me to watch the super bowl with him + his friends + their dates on sunday

i felt like it was a bit too soon for that + pumped the brakes

i asked if i could let him know tomorrow (which is now today) + that was fine by him

overnight i started thinking that it could be fun to just go, have a fun time doing a normal fun thing that i haven’t done in ages (watch the super bowl, watch it at a bar, go on a group date, take your pick)

even though i wasn’t sold, i reminded myself that if it felt weird, i could just leave

i was thinking i’d say yes

and that YES wasn’t about ignoring my intuition, but in recognizing that i had options, that the woman i am now felt way more equipped to navigate the whatifs IRL than she used to be

but then our convo went sideways + before i knew it we were unmatching lol

and here’s what matters:

i kept checking in with myself, honoring boundaries that felt important, navigating where it felt like there was room for flexibility, not getting stuck in any one way of being

and the “right” outcome happened

it wasn’t the one i was aiming for, but it WAS, i believe, the right one

and here’s the thing —

the yellow flags are the hardest part. the uncertain paths are way more challenging to navigate than obvious routes + clearly marked trails

being so bold as to trust yourself deeply + allow intuition to inform your decisionmaking? this is the stuff of real pioneers + largely uncharted territory

and the skills you develop in one terrain of your life will help you in all the others

when you work on trusting yourself in your business, it carries over into your dating life (and vice versa)

as you find your rhythm in the dance between being open to a YES that could be amazing or messy or both, and feeling the heft + pull of a NO that could be helpful or holding you back —

as you push edges of giving benefits of doubts + bowing out when too many needs aren’t met —

whether you’re doing this for a dating prospect or a prospective coach, teacher or mentor, the magic is in the practice

the way you navigate those spaces + learn who + how you are matters far beyond any individual experience or outcome

and how freeing, to release stakes that were never meant to be driven in the ground

this guy was great, but he wasn’t for me

and if for no other reason than that, i wasn’t for him

what a gift to get to that part now

xxoo, cc

ps: if we’re connected on IG or FB, you may have already heard the word about the SHOW LOVE pop up market in new haven this sunday!

it’s 11am-4pm ET at lotta studio on whalley avenue, and i’m offering FLASH co-created card readings alongside some of my brilliant maker artisan friends

psssst: if you want a reading but can’t make it there’s a way to take advantage of the show offer at home — ask me about it!

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